My ideal life partner is a gray cloud in the shape of a horse that dispenses hamburgers from Steak N Shake like in that one children’s book. Also speaks English, Russian and Serbo-Croatian.
Outside of my apartment the squirrels run to their treetops and tiny green leaves fly everywhere like, wow.
sometimes I get cravings for red bell peppers.
today I am too lazy to cut 2 pieces of bread for a sandwich.
i have been on the internet for the last four hours looking at pictures of Congolese pigeons.
if I were an egg would humans eat me?
Is it cool?
U are like a bear
like a Patrick Ewing
dunking on me.
i have so many hands and not enough fingers.
i am made entirely from oatmeal.
i am pessimistic about everything but cheeseburgers.
i believe in cheeseburgers the way fish believe in gills
bananas irl are slippery too.
i am worried that the universe will turn and shrink towards me
it’s a family affair.
This was fun. I first read this poem in “40 likely to die before 40” which is a great collection everyone should own.
I don’t know if there is a phrase the same as “holy shit” in Russian so I сhose to use “блядь” usually translated into English as “fuck”. Anyway my knowledge of Russian мать (swearing) is unfortunately pretty limited. Here is the result.
Блядь я была так одинока
Помни когда мы провели
субботу пили чай
и загружали порно
с бесплатным Wi-Fi
ниже твоей квартире
Я хочу пить чай
и загрузить порно с тобой
на бесплатный Wi-Fi
ниже твоей квартире
-Диана Салер (Diana Salier)
переводчик Григори Зорко
Working on some new Russian translations. Having fun. Should be able to share them soon.
I want to be trusted so that when I run from something terrifying, like Mothra or Mechagodzilla, a large crowd will run behind me.
Right now I’m a student so I’m studying things. I am studying to become like a green apple.
Rapunzel used to soak her hair in alcohol and light it on fire. Every day she would eat fresh delicious male pastries.
That’s like that thing you did once.
I want to imitate Rapunzel. I’ve heard you can make soup from only dandelions and it tastes ok.
I keep devouring these yellow hearts, even swallowing the stems.
I turn yellow like the sun or the filter of a cigarette. I think that I’m a yellow bird.